Showing posts with label Funny Quotes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny Quotes. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 22, 2019

Funny Leadership Quotes

Funny Leadership Quotes, humorous leadership quotations, good funny leadership quotes, famous funny leadership quotes, funny jokes on leadership, funny leadership quotes for kids, funny leadership quotes from movies, famous leadership quotes, leadership stories

It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse. - Adlai Stevenson

But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown. - Carl Sagan

The best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done, and self-restraint to keep from meddling with them while they do it. - Theodore Roosevelt

Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it. - Dwight Eisenhower

Leadership involves finding a parade and getting in front of it. - John Naisbitt

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. - George Bernard Shaw

It is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it... anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. - Douglas Adams

You do not lead by hitting people over the head - that's assault, not leadership. - Dwight Eisenhower

If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you. If you really make them think, they'll hate you. - Don Marquis

What Washington needs is adult supervision. - Barack Obama

There go my people. I must find out where they are going so I can lead them. - Alexandre Ledru-Rollin

First rule of leadership: everything is your fault. - A Bug's Life

How do you know my dimwitted inexperience isn't really a subtle form of manipulation used to lower people's expectations, thereby enhancing my ability to maneuver myself within any given situation? - Scream

The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided. - Casey Stengel

The question, 'Who ought to be boss?', is like asking, 'Who ought to be the tenor in the quartet?' Obviously, the man who can sing tenor. - Henry Ford

When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that person is crazy. - Dave Barry

Don't tell people how to do things, tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their results. - George S Patton

Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't! - Margaret Thatcher


Read more at Buzzle: http://www.buzzle.com/articles/funny-leadership-quotes.html

Saturday, January 19, 2019

. Funny Facebook Status Messages

Did you know that almost 30 million Facebook users update their status messages at least once a day? These may be funny or sad. We take a look at the funny side of things. Funny Facebook Status Messages

If you are looking for brightening up your dull day, then you have landed on the right page. These status messages have made it their responsibility to have you laughing your heart out.

♦ "Most of us can keep a secret. It's the people we tell it to who can't."

♦ "When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it's for them?."

♦ "You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help enough other people get what they want."

♦ "I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak."

♦ "...... feels like getting some work done...and so he is sitting down until the feeling passes."

♦ "......... used to play sports. Then she realized you can buy trophies. Now she's good at everything."

♦ "....... says my computer just beat me at chess...but it was no match for me at kick boxing."

♦ "......... before you use the bathroom in someone's house make sure you check they have toilet paper!!"

♦ ".......... understands that hard work pays off in future but Laziness pays off now !"

♦ "............ Is Wondering.... If Money Doesn't Grow On Trees,, Then Why Do Banks Have Branches ?

♦ "............. wanted to kill the sexiest person alive...But suicide's a crime. "

♦ "......... I'm not high maintenance. I am just a precious cargo with lavish instruction for upkeep."

♦ "Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant."

♦ "I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian."

♦ "... says One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions."

♦ ".... intends to go to Heaven for the climate and to Hell for the company."

♦ "....... is shout of the hour."

♦ "....... is currently out of her mind but please feel free to leave a message."

Read more at Buzzle: http://www.buzzle.com/articles/funny-facebook-status-messages.html

Friday, January 18, 2019

Funny Facebook Status Messages About Women

Funny Facebook Status Messages About Women

♦ "Women: Can't live with them, can't kill them."

♦ "Me and my wife are inseparable. Sometimes, it takes three or four people to pull us apart."

♦ "I married my wife for her looks. But not the ones she's been giving me lately!"

♦ "I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me. She calls me her sixty-second lover."

♦ "...... always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila."

♦ "Make love, not war. Hell, do both. Get married."

♦ "Take your troubles like a man. Blame them on your wife."

♦ "Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet."

♦ "eat eat and eat....but don't eat my brain."

♦ "...... just received a coupon in the mail: Buy one sock, get one FREE! While socks last."

♦ "Every day, man is making bigger and better fool-proof things, and every day, nature is making bigger and better fools. So far, I think nature is winning."

♦ "All men are born free and equal. If they go and get married, that's their own fault."

Read more at Buzzle: http://www.buzzle.com/articles/funny-facebook-status-messages.html

Thursday, January 17, 2019

Funny Facebook Status Messages About Men

Funny Facebook Status Messages About Men

♦ "...makes the lie, invents want."

♦ "...shall be both dog and pony."

♦ "...is a red-blooded American male!"

♦ "...thinks God's gift to bachelors is that the juiciest gazelle is the easiest to catch."

♦ "........ is tradin' in his Chevy for a Cadillacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacacac."

♦ "..... slept like a baby last night.... Waking up every 3 hours crying for food."

♦ "Be a man who takes the lead as opposed to one who follows. The minute you walk into a room assume the leaders status and you will find girls flocking towards you. Instead of suggesting what you think you should be doing just say what you all should do."

♦ "If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining."

♦ " Some things man was never meant to know. For everything else, there's Google."

♦ " There's this weird thing at my work where people are putting names on food in the fridge. I just ate a tuna sandwich named Kevin. "

♦ "Don't you wonder why people look back at the same spot when they trip over it? As if the sidewalk is going to talk back or laugh at them."

Facebook is intoxicating and updating your status messages gives you a new high. So get lost in the dope of funny messages by letting loose your creativity.

Read more at Buzzle: http://www.buzzle.com/articles/funny-facebook-status-messages.html